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Lately, I’ve been busy with college preparation even tho I still have time until it starts. The college itself requires us to go to church since it’s a Christian college.
I’ve been thinking tons of lies that I can use to avoid going to church. But no, suddenly I start crying while thinking about it.
What am I thinking? What am I so scared of? What am I so ashamed of? Why I don’t want to go to church? I used to feel very blessed after worship. I used to be nervous to lead a prayer but with my faith I still do it. It’s such a blessing for me to go to church, worship God, spreading love to everyone every day. I miss the old me. Where I’m not worried about anything when I went to church. I miss having a strong faith. I miss feeling loved and cared for by God. I miss His presence in my life. I want to go back to him. I want to restore my faith.

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