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I had a big crush on my best friend’s brother for the longest time. The truth is, I don’t know if I liked him or if I just liked the idea of him. Either way, he liked my younger sister- not me. My sister and he never actually became anything outwardly romantic. As he would post about other girls on social media, I would check out their profiles and look for similarities between me and whatever girl he was dating…. call it obsession at this point but… he started dating this one girl and I thought she was the most beautiful girl he ever dated… so I would visit her social media page more…. They ended things after only a few months of being official… they ended things like 3 years ago… to this day, I still check her page, and… sometimes, I’ll look up porn videos where the actress looks like her…. it turns me on thinking about the ways they could have been intimate and…. what she could have been like… the worst part about this is… I have a boyfriend and we are madly in love with each other…. yet, I still think about my best friend’s brother from time to time…

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