I was porn addicted since 14. Possibly due to stress and abuse in my household this was a way for me to cope, or not, I really don’t know. I still have this addiction and it makes me guilty to the bones; considering I hate the porn industry, considering I’m a feminist and am strongly against it. I feel, no, I am a huge hypocrite. But I have no clue how to stop. I’m scared one day someone will find out and my life, career, everything will be ruined. I even watched weird shit like implied r#pe or l0licon and was in huge disappointment and sadness when I came to my senses about it. It’s like I become extremely amoral while horny and it disgusts me. As if I’m no different from these stupid, ugly and pathetic pornhub averages men.. The possibility of my past mistakes bitting me in the ass is so extreme I just want to kill myself right now to escape this chance. I really want to but I know I will regret this the second I jump off or cut my venes. How can I keep on living with this fear?